So, as a break from the norm in this blog, I thought I would post another song I wrote [in core 145]. Its not a "Christian" song and doesn't have a deep spiritual meaning, it was just a fun song with, in my opinion, some pretty fun lyrics. So without further ado:
Everyone's the same someone had to do it new
I'm a baby in the game comin' straight out the womb.
Got the skills of a surgeon, save the game from the tomb
but I still rock the mic, make the crowd go "oooo."
And the crowd goes "ahhh" and the crowd goes "booo,"
but what do I do, wipe the dust off my shoes
and move on to the next one, maybe they'll like this one
but then the thought hits me . . . "why do I try to impress the ones who diss me?'
So I'll keep doin my thing while the others chase the bling
and the others chase the cars and the others hit up bars
and while others chase the girls I'll be buildin' my world. . . ya I'll be buildin' my world.
By now some of you don't like me, maybe even spite me
but they can act like Tyson and bite me.
And maybe I don't look like the guy that you think I should
I'm shinin' like a star boy, you can call me Hollywood.
I'm livin' like a man should, doin' what I knows good,
no drink, no drugs, no guns, no slugs.
I scare people when I get mad -- like Herman Munster
and I'll devour any rapper here call me the J. Kooke monster.
I'm a murderer, so someone call a priest
or maybe a doctor, cuz I just killed the beat
Someone kill the beat; ok start it up again,
I can't go acapella, I'll leave that to 8 mile 'n' Eminem.
And I don't go hard and I don't pretend to;
like the lonely kid on the playground I just wanna be friends with you.
So why don't you and I make a friendship that lasts
and put our differences behind us, forget about the past.
But I'm gettin in a bad mood, I'll just move on
with a heart of true forgiveness that I'm still workin' on.
I'm becoming a better me, and it's a hard task;
sometimes I wanna quit - will this always last?
But let's get back to where we started and make this a happy song,
like Sandler on the golf course I'm 'bout to get my Gilmore on
and take a trip to my happy place,
a big cabin by the lake
and make your troubles fade away
to fret about another day.
Like the end of a western I'll ride off into the sunset
and hope like a narcoleptic that this puts all your doubts to rest.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
What Do YOU Believe?
As some of you may know, I was blessed with the opportunity to attend a conference entitled Calvinism and Culture this weekend at Princeton Seminary (yes, that's THE Princeton). I was able to hear 10 different papers/lectures, most (if not all) were slightly above my head. The presentations were all by very educated men and women whom I am sure all had either Masters or Doctorates. Although I had trouble understanding and following more than I would have like to, I did find myself thinking a lot about one particular aspect of faith.
So much emphasis, which sort of culminated in this conference that was ALL about Abraham Kuyper and Calvinism, seems to be put on denominational and belief differences, especially in the reformed tradition (possibly because they are under a certain amount of heat and the natural reaction is to defend themselves). As the conference rolled along, I seemed to think more and more about what I believe and how that fits into different sects of the Christian religion. I came, and fairly quickly too, to the conclusion that I have decided to put very little, if any, stock in what denomination or branch I am considered. I mean, at Dordt, what is inevitably one of the first questions you get asked when church or faith comes up - "What branch are you from?" Does that really matter? I am going to decide what I believe regardless of what another human says, which brings me to one of my main points.
When we treat what other humans say (i.e. John Calvin, Abraham Kuyper, Martin Luther, MLK) as perfect and without any fault or error, they become God. We cannot take what another human says, who must interpret the Word of God themselves, as such. We must be in Scripture ourselves and figure out what we believe on our own. Is there anything wrong with listening to others who are more spiritually mature, or just flat out smarter than us: of course not! But realize that they are interpreting the Bible just like you or I have to and realize that it is ultimately your responsibility what you choose to believe and practice. If my beliefs end up lining up with someone, say John Calvin, then sure, maybe I'm a Calvinist. But I am sure as heck going to make sure it is in that order and not the other way around.
So do me a favor. Please don't believe something just because a giant of the reformed tradition (or any other tradition for that matter) says it. Please don't fit your beliefs to shape up exactly to what someone else says or what some other group of people says. Be your own Christian, and believe what you have decided is true. If your struggling or have questions, yes, go to sources (books, sermons, spiritual leaders/mentors) and get their opinion, but realize that their opinion is a human one that is not without possible error. And if you can, use the Bible - make sure your sermon, book, spiritual leader/mentor uses the Bible as well; if their answer is rooted in Scripture it has a lot better chance of being true!
So much emphasis, which sort of culminated in this conference that was ALL about Abraham Kuyper and Calvinism, seems to be put on denominational and belief differences, especially in the reformed tradition (possibly because they are under a certain amount of heat and the natural reaction is to defend themselves). As the conference rolled along, I seemed to think more and more about what I believe and how that fits into different sects of the Christian religion. I came, and fairly quickly too, to the conclusion that I have decided to put very little, if any, stock in what denomination or branch I am considered. I mean, at Dordt, what is inevitably one of the first questions you get asked when church or faith comes up - "What branch are you from?" Does that really matter? I am going to decide what I believe regardless of what another human says, which brings me to one of my main points.
When we treat what other humans say (i.e. John Calvin, Abraham Kuyper, Martin Luther, MLK) as perfect and without any fault or error, they become God. We cannot take what another human says, who must interpret the Word of God themselves, as such. We must be in Scripture ourselves and figure out what we believe on our own. Is there anything wrong with listening to others who are more spiritually mature, or just flat out smarter than us: of course not! But realize that they are interpreting the Bible just like you or I have to and realize that it is ultimately your responsibility what you choose to believe and practice. If my beliefs end up lining up with someone, say John Calvin, then sure, maybe I'm a Calvinist. But I am sure as heck going to make sure it is in that order and not the other way around.
So do me a favor. Please don't believe something just because a giant of the reformed tradition (or any other tradition for that matter) says it. Please don't fit your beliefs to shape up exactly to what someone else says or what some other group of people says. Be your own Christian, and believe what you have decided is true. If your struggling or have questions, yes, go to sources (books, sermons, spiritual leaders/mentors) and get their opinion, but realize that their opinion is a human one that is not without possible error. And if you can, use the Bible - make sure your sermon, book, spiritual leader/mentor uses the Bible as well; if their answer is rooted in Scripture it has a lot better chance of being true!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
My Grandpa Was Awesome
Tonight I watched a sermon that my grandpa had preached while he was still alive. He led off the sermon with something an individual had once told him that he had found to be true: "The only measure of success in the Word of God is character."
"But how exactly do we define character?" he asked. Well according to him, character is "that which we should be rather than what is easy to be. That which we want to be if we're thinking the way God would have us to think rather than that which we would want to be if we are giving way to the flesh in the world and the lusts of this life. That which is shaped when it costs us something." "Character," he states, "is never shaped in the easy way; it never comes easy." But most importantly, my grandpa preaches that the only true definition of character in the Bible is Jesus Christ. Our shaping of character is our shaping and molding into the character and essence of who Jesus was.
Within the sermon, my grandpa gave an illustration he had read in a devotional. A man, while in nature, came upon the cocoon of a moth and brought the cocoon home. The cocoon developed a small hole in the bottom and the moth began to struggle to get out. However, as the man watched the moth struggle for hours, he decided that the moth was struggling too much, that he knew more of what the moth needed than its creator. He then proceeded to cut the hole in the bottom of the cocoon to a bigger size to make the moth's escape easier. The moth came out, but its body was too fat and its wings were underdeveloped. See, in this type of moth, the struggle to get out pushes the juices from the body into the wings, so that when the moth emerges, its wings are nearly fully developed. This moth escaped the cocoon more easily, but its body was too fat and its wings underdeveloped, and it spent the few hours of its life crawling on the ground.
God will use struggle in our life to develop character, to shape us to be more like Him. We are never fulfilled, joyful, or satisfied, my grandpa preached, until Christ-likeness is fulfilled in us; other worldly things will not bring us that.
In the sermon, my grandpa did make the distinction between struggles we suffer due to our own mistakes and suffering for God's name's sake. I don't know how much of my struggle is due to my own stupid mistakes and how much of it God is putting me through and using to develop character and Christ-likeness in me or how much is for God's name's sake. If I knew that, I would be God, and I don't want that responsibility :) However, it is interesting, and comforting, to see struggle in this manner. If God is going to put me through testing/trials and my struggle will develop character in me, I am excited to see what that character is!
"But how exactly do we define character?" he asked. Well according to him, character is "that which we should be rather than what is easy to be. That which we want to be if we're thinking the way God would have us to think rather than that which we would want to be if we are giving way to the flesh in the world and the lusts of this life. That which is shaped when it costs us something." "Character," he states, "is never shaped in the easy way; it never comes easy." But most importantly, my grandpa preaches that the only true definition of character in the Bible is Jesus Christ. Our shaping of character is our shaping and molding into the character and essence of who Jesus was.
Within the sermon, my grandpa gave an illustration he had read in a devotional. A man, while in nature, came upon the cocoon of a moth and brought the cocoon home. The cocoon developed a small hole in the bottom and the moth began to struggle to get out. However, as the man watched the moth struggle for hours, he decided that the moth was struggling too much, that he knew more of what the moth needed than its creator. He then proceeded to cut the hole in the bottom of the cocoon to a bigger size to make the moth's escape easier. The moth came out, but its body was too fat and its wings were underdeveloped. See, in this type of moth, the struggle to get out pushes the juices from the body into the wings, so that when the moth emerges, its wings are nearly fully developed. This moth escaped the cocoon more easily, but its body was too fat and its wings underdeveloped, and it spent the few hours of its life crawling on the ground.
God will use struggle in our life to develop character, to shape us to be more like Him. We are never fulfilled, joyful, or satisfied, my grandpa preached, until Christ-likeness is fulfilled in us; other worldly things will not bring us that.
In the sermon, my grandpa did make the distinction between struggles we suffer due to our own mistakes and suffering for God's name's sake. I don't know how much of my struggle is due to my own stupid mistakes and how much of it God is putting me through and using to develop character and Christ-likeness in me or how much is for God's name's sake. If I knew that, I would be God, and I don't want that responsibility :) However, it is interesting, and comforting, to see struggle in this manner. If God is going to put me through testing/trials and my struggle will develop character in me, I am excited to see what that character is!
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Jesus Feels!
There are three more verses that I have been further drawn to in the story of Lazarus in John 11. The first is verse 33, the second is 35, and the third is 38:
John 11:33 - "When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had also come along with her weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled."
John 11:35 - "Jesus wept."
John 11:38a - "Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb."
We see here a picture of a Jesus who was obviously troubled and deeply saddened. Jesus did not simply have a weird feeling in His stomach, but rather he was "deeply moved" and "troubled." Jesus did not simply shed a few tears but rather "wept." And then, for a second time, Jesus was "deeply moved." But why was Jesus deeply moved and why did he weep?
Our initial answer tells us that Jesus felt this way because Lazarus, whom He loved, had died. I'm not sure that is the case. Jesus knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead (11:11), so why would He cry over the fact that Lazarus was dead; Lazarus' death did not matter, Jesus was going to reverse it. Throughout the gospels, we see that Jesus was filled with compassion or had pity on those who were suffering and needed healing, but He was not "deeply moved" (these are the only two times in the NIV or ESV that state Jesus was deeply moved) and He did not weep (this is only one of two times recorded where Jesus wept); He was filled with compassion and had pity but then healed them and moved on, so to speak. So why did Jesus react so strongly in this instance?
My theory is that Jesus emotionally-charged response was in fact a response to the suffering of Martha, Mary, and the others weeping. Jesus was not deeply moved, troubled, or weeping because Lazarus died, He was deeply moved by the suffering and grief of those who were left alive. He was troubled by the suffering of Martha and Mary. He wept because of the pain they were experiencing due to Lazarus' death.
How does this apply to today? We serve a Lord who is troubled by our grief and a God who is deeply moved when we suffer. And maybe more importantly, we serve a God who has the power to put an end to that grief, that sadness, that trouble, even if it means reversing death itself.
John 11:33 - "When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had also come along with her weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled."
John 11:35 - "Jesus wept."
John 11:38a - "Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb."
We see here a picture of a Jesus who was obviously troubled and deeply saddened. Jesus did not simply have a weird feeling in His stomach, but rather he was "deeply moved" and "troubled." Jesus did not simply shed a few tears but rather "wept." And then, for a second time, Jesus was "deeply moved." But why was Jesus deeply moved and why did he weep?
Our initial answer tells us that Jesus felt this way because Lazarus, whom He loved, had died. I'm not sure that is the case. Jesus knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead (11:11), so why would He cry over the fact that Lazarus was dead; Lazarus' death did not matter, Jesus was going to reverse it. Throughout the gospels, we see that Jesus was filled with compassion or had pity on those who were suffering and needed healing, but He was not "deeply moved" (these are the only two times in the NIV or ESV that state Jesus was deeply moved) and He did not weep (this is only one of two times recorded where Jesus wept); He was filled with compassion and had pity but then healed them and moved on, so to speak. So why did Jesus react so strongly in this instance?
My theory is that Jesus emotionally-charged response was in fact a response to the suffering of Martha, Mary, and the others weeping. Jesus was not deeply moved, troubled, or weeping because Lazarus died, He was deeply moved by the suffering and grief of those who were left alive. He was troubled by the suffering of Martha and Mary. He wept because of the pain they were experiencing due to Lazarus' death.
How does this apply to today? We serve a Lord who is troubled by our grief and a God who is deeply moved when we suffer. And maybe more importantly, we serve a God who has the power to put an end to that grief, that sadness, that trouble, even if it means reversing death itself.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
When Our Timing Doesn't Match
"When he heard this, Jesus said, 'this sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's son may be glorified through it.' Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days." - John 11: 4-6
He stayed two more days . . . Can we please not overlook these five words? Lazarus, a man whom Jesus loved, was dying! He needed help and he needed it pronto, but Jesus stayed where He was for an entire two days. In fact, he stayed because he loved Lazarus and his family ("Jesus loved Martha and Lazarus. So . . . he stayed where he was two more days"). Why is this you may ask? Well, Jesus does not always "heal" us in the timing we deem correct or even necessary. Sometimes Jesus' timing in His faithfulness is just a little different than ours (or a lot different). However, in His time, Jesus healed Lazarus, proving that even death had no power over God's power, and brought God glory. Furthermore, the timing for the "delay" was out of love - Jesus waited because he loved Lazarus.
"At this they tried to seize him, but no one laid a hand on him, because his hour had not yet come." - John 7:30
We see in this verse that God's timing supersedes the timing of us measly humans. The Pharisees wanted to grab hold of God and arrest Him, in fact they even physically tried to. However, it was not Jesus' time (God's timing) and because of this nobody even laid a hand on Him. God had his timing for Jesus' life and His death, and no Pharisee (or us for that manner) was going to stop that. When our timing is in conflict with God's timing, God's timing is going to win out.
"and for your sake I am glad I was not there [with Lazarus], so that you may believe" - John 11:15
Back to the Lazarus story, we see yet another reason for God's timing over what we saw as the obvious timing of "Jesus get over there now!" God's timing led to the good of others, here the disciples. We see a markedly better outcome here for the disciples when Jesus waited. And if we are to love others, the fact that one result of a continuing struggle we are going through may in fact be the belief of others should bring us at least some amount of joy. I'm not saying it's the only reason for our struggle, or that we should wish to continually struggle just for the good of others, but it can definitely be comforting.
"'Neither this man nor his parents sinned,' said Jesus, 'but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.'" - John 9:3
When we are in pain, confusion, doubt, or a combination of them all, and God doesn't seem to be helping us, take comfort in this! As a young, immature boy I would read this and see a suffering man that was used so God could show His power to others. As a slightly older, immature "man" who knows a little something about hard times, I see this verse a different way; one's suffering can be used to show God's power to that specific individual. God will use our suffering to show us His power in our lives.
"Let us go back to Judea. But Rabbi . . . the Jews there tried to stone you . . . Jesus answered . . . Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep [died]; but I am going there to wake him up." - John 11: 7b-8, 11b
Simply put, Jesus went back to an area filled with people trying to kill Him in order to heal Lazarus. Why did He do this? Well, I'm sure love played a factor (as it usually does), but also the fact that Jesus had the faith to know that God wanted Him to heal Lazarus and no ticked off Jew with a stone was going to stop that plan. Both these qualities seem to be one's we should strive to emulate.
My timing does not always match up with God's. If I had my way, my struggle would have ended the second I left behind the sins that plagued me and began striving to become closer to God. I mean, doesn't that make sense? Isn't that fair? Well maybe it seems so to me, but God's timing didn't match. God has a reason for this ongoing struggle. He is showing His power to me and using this struggle to obtain a greater good and teach me about Him and His way. And hopefully He is using this situation to show others Himself through me. I know God has a reason for this time in my life, and that timing supersedes any timing I may have had. I continue to try and learn as much as possible, striving to desire God, want Him, and love Him with all my heart. When that struggle ends, I will come forth as gold . . . so you better bring your sunglasses, cuz it's gonna be bright!
He stayed two more days . . . Can we please not overlook these five words? Lazarus, a man whom Jesus loved, was dying! He needed help and he needed it pronto, but Jesus stayed where He was for an entire two days. In fact, he stayed because he loved Lazarus and his family ("Jesus loved Martha and Lazarus. So . . . he stayed where he was two more days"). Why is this you may ask? Well, Jesus does not always "heal" us in the timing we deem correct or even necessary. Sometimes Jesus' timing in His faithfulness is just a little different than ours (or a lot different). However, in His time, Jesus healed Lazarus, proving that even death had no power over God's power, and brought God glory. Furthermore, the timing for the "delay" was out of love - Jesus waited because he loved Lazarus.
"At this they tried to seize him, but no one laid a hand on him, because his hour had not yet come." - John 7:30
We see in this verse that God's timing supersedes the timing of us measly humans. The Pharisees wanted to grab hold of God and arrest Him, in fact they even physically tried to. However, it was not Jesus' time (God's timing) and because of this nobody even laid a hand on Him. God had his timing for Jesus' life and His death, and no Pharisee (or us for that manner) was going to stop that. When our timing is in conflict with God's timing, God's timing is going to win out.
"and for your sake I am glad I was not there [with Lazarus], so that you may believe" - John 11:15
Back to the Lazarus story, we see yet another reason for God's timing over what we saw as the obvious timing of "Jesus get over there now!" God's timing led to the good of others, here the disciples. We see a markedly better outcome here for the disciples when Jesus waited. And if we are to love others, the fact that one result of a continuing struggle we are going through may in fact be the belief of others should bring us at least some amount of joy. I'm not saying it's the only reason for our struggle, or that we should wish to continually struggle just for the good of others, but it can definitely be comforting.
"'Neither this man nor his parents sinned,' said Jesus, 'but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.'" - John 9:3
When we are in pain, confusion, doubt, or a combination of them all, and God doesn't seem to be helping us, take comfort in this! As a young, immature boy I would read this and see a suffering man that was used so God could show His power to others. As a slightly older, immature "man" who knows a little something about hard times, I see this verse a different way; one's suffering can be used to show God's power to that specific individual. God will use our suffering to show us His power in our lives.
"Let us go back to Judea. But Rabbi . . . the Jews there tried to stone you . . . Jesus answered . . . Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep [died]; but I am going there to wake him up." - John 11: 7b-8, 11b
Simply put, Jesus went back to an area filled with people trying to kill Him in order to heal Lazarus. Why did He do this? Well, I'm sure love played a factor (as it usually does), but also the fact that Jesus had the faith to know that God wanted Him to heal Lazarus and no ticked off Jew with a stone was going to stop that plan. Both these qualities seem to be one's we should strive to emulate.
My timing does not always match up with God's. If I had my way, my struggle would have ended the second I left behind the sins that plagued me and began striving to become closer to God. I mean, doesn't that make sense? Isn't that fair? Well maybe it seems so to me, but God's timing didn't match. God has a reason for this ongoing struggle. He is showing His power to me and using this struggle to obtain a greater good and teach me about Him and His way. And hopefully He is using this situation to show others Himself through me. I know God has a reason for this time in my life, and that timing supersedes any timing I may have had. I continue to try and learn as much as possible, striving to desire God, want Him, and love Him with all my heart. When that struggle ends, I will come forth as gold . . . so you better bring your sunglasses, cuz it's gonna be bright!
Sunday, April 3, 2011
I've Been Injured
I recently went to a conference in Nebraska (ya, I know, Nebraska sucks - but I went anyway) and a portion of the large group session concentrated on how we, as Christians, should deal with our wounds. We were told that, when we are wounded, we should tell other Christians and allow them to help us. I believe I've finally found the strength to do that . . . at least in part.
I've been wounded. Now I'm not talking about being wounded by another person, but rather what often times is the worst type of wound, the self-inflicted wound. For many years I battled with sin in my life which led to an unhealthy relationship in my first semester of school. This past summer was the absolute hardest of my life and my own sin and mistrust led to some extremely scary moments. However, by the grace of God, I have come through all of that sin and addiction and no longer am involved with any of that from my sinful past (praise the Lord!!!!). Little did I know, though, that coming to repentance and out of my sin was just the beginning of the battle.
Throughout the school year, I have dealt with multiple issues of faith in my life. Thank God (literally) that much advancement has been made, but I still struggle. My main struggle, strangely enough, is with doubt. Doubt has plagued me for months now - doubt of God's love, doubt in who God is, even doubt (as hard as it is to admit) that there even is a God. I don't know exactly why I struggle or exactly why God is allowing this to drag on, but I try with all my might to lean on the fact that He has an ultimate reason for this, a reason soaked in love that has nothing but the best life-long intentions for me. So, in the meantime, I try to stay in the Word and learn as much as I can because I know that God is using this time to teach me so much and help me to grow (heck, maybe that's even the "ultimate reason" He's doing it). While I'm waiting, I'll do the best I can to follow God's Word and walk in His way, leaning on the hope I have that one day this trial will come to an end.
Here is a song I wrote regarding some of what's happening. I've always found that writing helps me when dealing with issues in my life (a part of the reason I decided to start this blog). Every line has meaning; nothing is just thrown in to make a rhyme sound good or make the song flow better. I hope to put it to music soon. Enjoy :)
Never knew that life could be so hard
and it's all my fault I'm so sorry Lord.
I struggle, I pay, I'm confused, I pray
and get back on my feet for the same old day.
I feel like Pong getting hit back and forth
but I'm more like Frogger getting crushed on the first course.
When will it all end;
when will I be whole;
when will the pain cease;
please Lord free my soul.
With all the love you exude God I know you care
but, I don't know, sometimes I doubt that you're even there.
And the confusion baffles me,
God I need some slack
cuz I feel like Will Smith walking around like a man in black.
I was happy Lord, when I was soaked in sin,
but now I'm back with you yet the struggle seems to never end.
Let me see your face, do it I know you can;
let me hear your voice, sweet sounding like a baby grand.
Guide me with you steps, footprints in the sand;
Lord fix my soul, touch me with your healing hands.
I'm like a broken reed swaying in the winds of life
or a candle with a short wick struggling to see the light.
But your word promises you'll uphold both of these;
you don't lie or fib, Lord you never tease,
so I drop to my knees prayin' that you'll take this from me;
please just make it stop, why do you do this to me?
But the Bible says you discipline those you love;
thanks for that little push, thanks for that little shove.
And as I dig into your word like a crazy mole,
I search for those words that can finally make my soul whole.
Show me the living water, make it flow from me;
give me a strong desire, make me wanna see.
Whatever you wanna teach me Lord come on and let it rip;
save me from this struggle before my desire starts to really slip.
Like an acrobat in training, I'm about to flip
and go crazy trying to figure out how exactly you're supposed to fit,
and what I believe, and what I should do;
so many versions of one religion which one is really true?
Which one would you chose? And how do you decide?
Like a comforting father I just want you Lord by my side.
To the end Lord, I just hope I can make it
and I poor my soul out to you because I know you can take it.
Whisper in m ear; take away my sin.
That's all for now Lord . . . Amen.
Well if you've made it to the end of this blog then CONGRATULATIONS!!! If there is anything you would like to know about me or my journey, please ask! And if there is anything you would like to say to me, I'd be happy to hear it! My dad once told me that when I come through this I will be refined . . . and refined like gold. I hold those words close and look in thankfulness at what God has already done in my life and in great anticipation to what He still has to do. I am so excited for what my life and what my faith are going to be like once this "storm" has passed. Pray that I will make it and be able to use it in helping others who undoubtedly deal with the same.
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