Where is the Joy?

Sorry I haven't kept up as rigidly as I would have like to over Christmas break, but then again, it's break. But to get right into it, over the past few months, probably the biggest question I've had regarding my faith deals with joy. I've always heard that following God brings you the most satisfying life; the most fulfilling life; and the life filled with the truest joy. But I haven't always felt that and it's made me wonder what in the world is going on. Following God has seemed more like a job I have to get up and do every morning rather than a joy. Following His commands has been difficult at times and has felt like something I try to do despite what I actually want to do, rather than doing it out of gratitude or a loving response to how He loves me. Through all of this, I've realized that I need to know God more; I'm not talking about knowing more about Him, but rather knowing Him more personally and developing a closer, more personal, more intimate relationship with Him.

So I spent time in prayer, asking God to help me know Him more, love Him more, and develop a deeper, more personal relationship with Him, knowing that if I knew him more intimately and deeply, then my heart would change and, ultimately, my faith; my desire, commitment, and obedience would be through my relationship with God and how it changed my heart, it would be based out of my love for Him and as a response to His love and care for me. I was excited about what was to come, but I didn't see much change. Through what the Bible says and reading/hearing others speak, I've realized more fully what the Christian life should be characterized by, including the joy that should come with it. Yes, we may have troubled times, but even in the midst of destruction and forcing into slavery, God told the Israelites that He knew the plans for them, and that they were plans to prosper them and not harm them (Jer 29.11). Yes, we may have dark places we find ourselves in, but God's word is about redemption; God promises to redeem us and bring us back to Him, where we find joy in his presence and eternal pleasures at his right hand (Psalm 16.11). God loves us like we are his children (I John 3.1) and a father wants nothing but the best for his kids. Yes, the father may allow his children to face tough times for their own good, but he always loves them and has in mind what is ultimately best for them. So I believe God has a joyous, happy, peaceful life for us through Himself and bringing Him glory; we may face tough times, but when we have the peace and joy God gives, it triumphs over anything this world can throw at it. 

But through learning this, I've also come to the realization that I lack it. And it sucks, because I want that and I know how to get it, but it doesn't seem to always be happening. I don't always see the promises of joy and peace coming into my life and it makes me wonder what's going on. And the worst part, it tempts me to forget about it all and find my own joy and happiness. Ya, I can admit it - I've been tempted, in the midst of real troubles I've had and frustrations of constant doubt and questioning, to simply forget about the whole God thing altogether. I mean, I've thought that if my faith is causing the most stress and non-joy in my life, then I should just forget about it and find happiness on my own through what I know I can be happy doing (aka sin). Obviously I haven't done that, but I'm trying to be honest about the questions I've faced and the issues I've struggled with. What I've learned over the past year and a half is priceless, and God has constantly been working on me - one thing after another. But if He loves me, then it's for a reason. He promises deliverance and he promises peace and joy, so the questioning, searching, and difficulties are developing something in me for what He has planned for my future. And if He's doing this to me now, I'm excited to see what it's all for. 

Just Talk About It!!!!

I think that people that know me well enough will know that I'm not being a hypocrite by what I'm about to state in this post. But one thing that I've thought about at different times is how shameful it is that people struggle on their own. Then my friend Trevor (who's getting married today!) went to a conference in Kansas City and was kind enough to tell me about it when he came back. At one of the talking sessions (I think that's what they're officially called) the speaker talked about 4 different things regarding some aspect of Christianity. The incredible vagueness at which I just attempted to describe that something is beside the point, but one of the 4 things was that people don't talk to others about their troubles and struggles. To me, this was like, "yes! somebody actually thinks the same thing!" You see, so often we feel ashamed or unworthy, and those feelings keep us from expressing the very things we need to talk about. We sit and stew on problems and struggles we face, always feeling ashamed and keeping them bottled up inside, never letting anyone know what we are really thinking. We think others will judge us, think we're weird, or think that we're subpar Christians, and never wrap our minds around the fact that everyone struggles! You cannot deal with an issue of faith or anything else that someone else hasn't already dealt with; you are never alone.

God gave us other people to talk to and fellowship with, and part of this talking and fellowship involves helping others where they need it. Often times, and listen up here, the way God helps us is through others. Often times, the knowledge and wisdom of others is what God can, and will, use to help us right where we need it. So if you struggle with something, you don't have to suffer or deal with it on your own! Find someone who loves you and someone you trust and spill your guts. Heck, talk to me if you want - I love talking to people and learning about their stories, and I know there are others who feel the same way. YOU DON'T HAVE TO STRUGGLE ALONE!!!!

Worship

One thing I've thought about throughout the semester is "worship" and what it actually is, especially within the context of singing (aka chapel, GIFT, P&W). Throughout the year, I've tried to get into it, but, honestly, I've struggled to really "feel it." At points I can't get passed the shallowness of the lyrics, at others points I wonder why God requires us to praise Him, and still, at other times, I just can't get into it. But then I began to think about WHY we worship God and WHY we sing songs to Him. And something clicked - what if we weren't singing to God for God; what if we were singing to God for us? 


I believe it was John Piper who coined the term "Christian Hedonist" (and if it wasn't Piper, he's the one who has popularized it). Sam Storms has followed in the same direction as a Christian hedonist, largely due to one quote by Jonathon Edwards. Edwards stated, "now what is glorifying God, but a rejoicing at that glory he has displayed?  . . .Neither can the highest end of creation be the declaring [of] God's glory to others; for the declaring [of] God's glory is good for nothing otherwise than to raise joy in ourselves and others in what is declared." In fact, Storms goes on to state, "to come to God or to worship him or to yield to his moral will for any reason other than the joy that is found in who he is, is sinful." Think about it this way (it helped me). If your friend told you that he really enjoyed being with you, you wouldn't accuse him/her of being selfish, because the fact that they find joy in hanging out with you shows you that they find value in the relationship. In fact, you would be taken aback (ya, taken aback) if your friends didn't enjoy being with you. Is God any different? If God is the source of your greatest delight and joy, then you are God-centered, not selfish. As Francis Chan puts it, "right now a hundred million angels are praising God's name; He certainly doesn't need to beg or plead with us." 


This, inevitably, leads to the larger question of "why does God require us to bring Him glory in all we do?; why are we supposed to be constantly bringing God glory?; Isn't that selfish and why does He need it?" Well, this is ultimately the same question as above, only on a bigger scale - instead of wondering why we are worshiping God through song, we're wondering why we are worshiping/bringing God glory through everything we do. John Piper addressed this question many years ago in a sermon series he gave. Piper spoke about praising what we enjoy, but he also spoke about praise being the climax of our joy. C.S. Lewis one said, "but the most obvious fact about praise - whether of God or anything - strangely escaped me. I thought of it in terms of compliment, approval, or the giving of honor. I had never noticed that all enjoyment spontaneously overflows into praise unless (sometimes even if) shyness of the fear of boring others is deliberatley brought in to check it . . . I think we delight to praise what we enjoy because the praise not merely expresses but completes the enjoyment. It is appointed consummation. It is not out of compliment that lovers keep on telling one another how beautiful they are, the delight is incomplete till it is expressed." Piper goes on to state, "if God is truly for us, if he would give us the best and make our joy full, he must make it his aim to win our praise for himself. Not because he needs to shore up some weakness in himself or compensate for some deficiency, but because he loves us and seeks the fullness of our joy that can only be found in knowing and praising him . . . God is the one being in all the universe for whom seeking his own praise is the ultimate loving act." 


There you have it. God knows that our truest joy, our strongest peace, our deepest sense of fulfillment, lies fully in Him. The more of Him we have, the more joy, peace, and fulfillment we experience. Therefore, He desires to bring us closer to Him and He desires us to bring Him glory and praise because He loves us and wants the best for us. So next time you find yourself in a situation where you are singing to God, don't think about yourself simply giving God what He deserves; (if the aim of your faith is simply to give God what He deserves, you'll strive forever and never come close) think about how God desires this to bring you the greatest joy and fulfillment. 


P.S. Here are the links to the articles that I quoted:
http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/is-god-for-us-or-for-himself
http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/the-life-changing-discovery-of-christian-hedonism?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+DGBlog+%28DG+Blog%29

Hello . . . It's Been A While

Ya, I know its been a while since I did this whole blog thing, but hey, it's Christmas break and I've got nothing better to do. Plus, I've been thinking about some stuff lately and writing it down always helps. One thing I've thought about during the semester is friendship and love. Now, I'm a firm believer in the fact that you can't truly love somebody unless you know their faults, where they've come up short, and the parts of their lives where they struggle, and still love them anyway. As my dad once stated, "my wife knows me better than anyone else and she chooses to love me anyways."

But how much of a friend can you be if you don't know those things about people either. Yes, you can have friends that don't know you deepest, darkest secrets and that's fine. But my guess would be that if you thought of your best friend, part of the reason why they are your best friend is because they know certain things about you and choose to be your friend anyway. There is something special about a friend who knows your weaknesses, faults, and struggles and chooses to like you anyway.

Well, God has blessed me with some awesome new friends this semester, and although I'm not about to spill my guts right now, there's always been something attractive to me about a friend who knows my weaknesses and struggles and hangs out with me anyway (shout out to Vegas PLIA and 2011 IH Staff!). So as I enter this three weeks with no homework, I hope to tackle some questions I've been thinking about throughout the semester and write about them. I'm an honest person and I enjoy talking about my difficulties and struggles with people; it helps to get it out in the open, plus then I feel like they know the REAL me. Hope you enjoy :)